1
00:00:05,117 --> 00:00:06,684
So, where's my desk?

2
00:00:06,685 --> 00:00:08,453
You won't have a desk.

3
00:00:08,454 --> 00:00:09,687
That's the whole

4
00:00:09,688 --> 00:00:12,457
Smile Superstars international concept.

5
00:00:12,458 --> 00:00:15,643
Everything is modern and open.

6
00:00:15,644 --> 00:00:18,046
You'll just float from chair to chair

7
00:00:18,047 --> 00:00:19,748
with a smile tablet.

8
00:00:19,749 --> 00:00:22,217
Really? Smile tablet?

9
00:00:22,218 --> 00:00:23,318
I'm sorry, Dr. goodwin.

10
00:00:23,319 --> 00:00:24,429
I don't get why we have to do this.

11
00:00:24,430 --> 00:00:26,696
I thought what we had was going great.

12
00:00:26,697 --> 00:00:28,809
Long lunches, going online

13
00:00:28,810 --> 00:00:31,293
looking at bad celebrity plastic surgeries.

14
00:00:31,294 --> 00:00:33,695
Frankie, I know all this
new stuff is scary.

15
00:00:33,696 --> 00:00:35,565
I was the same way with Indian food,

16
00:00:35,566 --> 00:00:38,500
but now bring on the sag aloo.

17
00:00:38,501 --> 00:00:41,670
And don't worry, Dr. Samuelson
will explain the whole deal.

18
00:00:41,671 --> 00:00:43,238
Wait, wait... who?

19
00:00:43,239 --> 00:00:47,275
Dr. Sommer Samuelson, our fearless leader.

20
00:00:47,276 --> 00:00:49,444
Now that we're members of Smile Superstars,

21
00:00:49,445 --> 00:00:51,212
we're under her umbrella.

22
00:00:51,213 --> 00:00:54,640
Her story is capital "a" Amazing.

23
00:00:54,641 --> 00:00:58,453
She came from a bad family...
her parents made pottery.

24
00:00:58,454 --> 00:01:02,257
And now she owns the 13th
largest dental chain

25
00:01:02,258 --> 00:01:04,526
in the country.

26
00:01:06,562 --> 00:01:08,440
You'll hear it at the convention
in Des Moines next week.

27
00:01:08,441 --> 00:01:09,608
What? No!

28
00:01:09,609 --> 00:01:10,909
I can't afford to go to Des Moines.

29
00:01:10,910 --> 00:01:13,712
I had to siphon gas out of
the lawnmower to get here.

30
00:01:13,713 --> 00:01:16,849
That's the best part.
Y'all's expenses are paid.

31
00:01:16,850 --> 00:01:18,772
Sorry, Frankie.

32
00:01:18,773 --> 00:01:21,553
If you're opening a new branch,
it's kind of mandatory.

33
00:01:21,554 --> 00:01:25,824
Actually, they call it "fundatory."

34
00:01:25,825 --> 00:01:27,559

 


35
00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:29,667
Frankie: This is gonna suck, Mike.

36
00:01:29,668 --> 00:01:31,201
They took my desk away.

37
00:01:31,202 --> 00:01:33,103
Do you know how many cookies were in there?

38
00:01:33,104 --> 00:01:35,205
And now I got to go to
some stupid convention.

39
00:01:35,206 --> 00:01:36,640
Hey, you should go with me.

40
00:01:36,641 --> 00:01:37,787
Why would I do that?

41
00:01:37,788 --> 00:01:40,277
Let me finish. It's in Des Moines.

42
00:01:40,278 --> 00:01:41,312
Eh, I don't think so.

43
00:01:41,313 --> 00:01:42,479
Come on.

44
00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:45,649
It's gonna be at a hotel,
all the expenses are paid.

45
00:01:45,650 --> 00:01:48,619
And besides, won't it be good for you
to get out of your normal routine

46
00:01:48,620 --> 00:01:50,154
and watch TV in a different location?

47
00:01:50,155 --> 00:01:51,989
That has always been the dream.

48
00:01:51,990 --> 00:01:54,058
Listen, I'm gonna be at seminars all day,

49
00:01:54,059 --> 00:01:55,726
so you'll have the place to yourself.

50
00:01:55,727 --> 00:01:58,061
So, just to be clear, I don't
have to go to any dentist stuff

51
00:01:58,062 --> 00:02:00,357
or talk to anybody or do anything?

52
00:02:00,358 --> 00:02:03,133
No, Boo Radley, you can just
shutter yourself in the room.

53
00:02:03,134 --> 00:02:04,502
Okay. I'm in.

54
00:02:06,832 --> 00:02:08,539
He's like a locust.

55
00:02:08,540 --> 00:02:11,442
There's no more food. Go
infest another house.

56
00:02:11,443 --> 00:02:14,345
Oh, my god, it's not my fault
I'm stuck living here.

57
00:02:14,346 --> 00:02:17,147
I accidentally paid two hippies
I thought were my landlord.

58
00:02:17,148 --> 00:02:19,149
Do you think this is easy on me?

59
00:02:19,150 --> 00:02:21,452
Think I like seeing mom
walk around in her bra?

60
00:02:21,453 --> 00:02:23,253
Good, then it's working.

61
00:02:23,254 --> 00:02:25,356
Hey, mom, can I take this old bedspread

62
00:02:25,357 --> 00:02:26,423
back to school?

63
00:02:26,424 --> 00:02:28,258
I was thinking I could turn my extra bed

64
00:02:28,259 --> 00:02:30,027
into, like, a fun study-lounge area.

65
00:02:30,028 --> 00:02:32,162
You know, put some
lemonheads on an end table.

66
00:02:32,163 --> 00:02:33,564
Maybe I can lure people in.

67
00:02:33,565 --> 00:02:35,032
Wait, hold on.

68
00:02:35,033 --> 00:02:36,266
This is perfect.

69
00:02:36,267 --> 00:02:38,068
Why didn't I think of this before?

70
00:02:38,069 --> 00:02:40,104
Sue's just sitting there with an empty bed.

71
00:02:40,105 --> 00:02:42,172
I need a bed. You guys are driving me nuts.

72
00:02:42,173 --> 00:02:43,574
Ha ha! I'll just crash with Sue.

73
00:02:43,575 --> 00:02:45,476
Forward my mail. That's a thing, right?

74
00:02:45,477 --> 00:02:46,543
What? No.

75
00:02:46,544 --> 00:02:47,745
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

76
00:02:47,746 --> 00:02:49,546
Mom, dad, you cannot let this happen.

77
00:02:49,547 --> 00:02:51,148
I don't even know if it's legal.

78
00:02:51,149 --> 00:02:53,117
What if I get written up again? Dad?

79
00:02:53,118 --> 00:02:55,185
You got an empty bed and
we got an empty fridge.

80
00:02:55,186 --> 00:02:56,320
I got to go with Axl on this one.

81
00:02:56,321 --> 00:02:57,688
Mom?

82
00:02:57,689 --> 00:02:59,223
I'm sorry, honey.

83
00:02:59,224 --> 00:03:01,392
We just really need him not to be here.

84
00:03:01,393 --> 00:03:03,527
Don't fight it, Sue. It's happening.

85
00:03:03,528 --> 00:03:06,096

 


86
00:03:08,099 --> 00:03:10,167
Wow!

87
00:03:10,168 --> 00:03:13,437
Yeah, wow. Look at that TV.

88
00:03:13,438 --> 00:03:15,039
Betcha that's a 46-incher.

89
00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:16,440
Oh, my god, this bathroom!

90
00:03:16,441 --> 00:03:18,509
Look! They have a square showerhead.

91
00:03:18,510 --> 00:03:20,277
Oh! There's a little soap for the sink

92
00:03:20,278 --> 00:03:21,378
and a little soap for the tub.

93
00:03:21,379 --> 00:03:22,794
You don't have to carry it back and forth.

94
00:03:22,795 --> 00:03:24,676
But let's do that anyway
so we can take one home.

95
00:03:24,677 --> 00:03:27,518
Hey, look. You barely touch
"channel" and it changes,

96
00:03:27,519 --> 00:03:29,687
and the button doesn't
stick inside the remote

97
00:03:29,688 --> 00:03:31,955
where you got to get a fork and dig it out.

98
00:03:31,956 --> 00:03:33,524
Hey, you want a tiny can of Pringles

99
00:03:33,525 --> 00:03:35,292
and the cutest vodka I've ever seen?

100
00:03:35,293 --> 00:03:37,361
Courtesy of Smile Superstars International.

101
00:03:37,362 --> 00:03:39,530
- Hit me, baby.
- Whoo-hoo!

102
00:03:39,531 --> 00:03:40,698
Oh, my gosh.

103
00:03:40,699 --> 00:03:43,100
Look how easily these slide.

104
00:03:44,235 --> 00:03:47,404
They have a safe. They think we have stuff.

105
00:03:47,405 --> 00:03:48,539
Hm.

106
00:03:48,540 --> 00:03:50,340
All right, I got to go down to orientation.

107
00:03:50,341 --> 00:03:52,109
I'm gonna see if I can
sign in and duck out,

108
00:03:52,110 --> 00:03:53,444
so hands off the snickers and gin.

109
00:03:53,445 --> 00:03:55,345

 


110
00:03:55,346 --> 00:03:58,864
Frankie: So, while we were gone, we got
the best babysitter we could find.

111
00:03:58,865 --> 00:04:02,619
But she wanted 10 bucks an
hour, so we went with free.

112
00:04:02,620 --> 00:04:07,148
Hey there, Brick. I found
this out by the curb.

113
00:04:07,358 --> 00:04:10,094
I'm guessing someone threw
it out 'cause it's busted.

114
00:04:10,095 --> 00:04:11,215
That was mom.

115
00:04:11,216 --> 00:04:14,090
She ruined it sucking up rotted
lettuce out of the fridge.

116
00:04:14,091 --> 00:04:15,945
Oh, well, we'll get her fixed up.

117
00:04:15,946 --> 00:04:18,680
I'm sorry you had to come all
the way over, grandpa big Mike.

118
00:04:18,681 --> 00:04:20,849
I told mom and dad I could
take care of myself.

119
00:04:20,850 --> 00:04:22,918
Oh, now, you may think you can,

120
00:04:22,919 --> 00:04:25,287
but you need somebody to look after you.

121
00:04:25,288 --> 00:04:28,257
Remember, the bird that
leaves the nest too early

122
00:04:28,258 --> 00:04:30,659
ends up on drugs in Indianapolis.

123
00:04:31,217 --> 00:04:35,123
So, who's ready to have a
little fun with his grandpa?

124
00:04:41,404 --> 00:04:42,805
What's this for?

125
00:04:42,806 --> 00:04:44,239
Oh, that's your vision journal.

126
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:47,009
You know, for writing down
your thoughts and feelings,

127
00:04:47,010 --> 00:04:48,877
any ideas to make the company better.

128
00:04:48,878 --> 00:04:50,179
What a load of...

129
00:04:50,180 --> 00:04:52,981
Man: And now the moment
you've all been waiting for,

130
00:04:52,982 --> 00:04:55,384
Dr. Sommer Samuelson!

131
00:04:58,154 --> 00:04:59,354
Thank you!

132
00:04:59,355 --> 00:05:01,089
Thank you all for coming,

133
00:05:01,090 --> 00:05:03,358
and welcome to the Smile Superstars

134
00:05:03,359 --> 00:05:06,628
bi-annual meeting and
educational workshops.

135
00:05:06,629 --> 00:05:09,398
I think you'll find it
informative, inspiring,

136
00:05:09,399 --> 00:05:11,366
and most of all...

137
00:05:11,367 --> 00:05:12,401
Fun!

138
00:05:12,402 --> 00:05:16,205

 Tonight is tonight 


139
00:05:16,206 --> 00:05:19,842

 tomorrow's tomorrow 


140
00:05:19,843 --> 00:05:22,978

 believe in believin' 


141
00:05:22,979 --> 00:05:26,748

 go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! 


142
00:05:31,988 --> 00:05:34,223
Hey, grandpa big Mike.

143
00:05:35,191 --> 00:05:39,228
Um, I was just resting my eyes and...

144
00:05:39,229 --> 00:05:40,963
What... what's this?

145
00:05:40,964 --> 00:05:42,297
It's 9:00.

146
00:05:42,298 --> 00:05:44,233
I was getting kind of hungry,
so I went to the store

147
00:05:44,234 --> 00:05:46,068
and did a little grocery shopping.

148
00:05:46,069 --> 00:05:47,169
I made us scrambled eggs.

149
00:05:47,170 --> 00:05:48,770
Scrambled.

150
00:05:48,771 --> 00:05:50,839
I'm not sure about this, Brick.

151
00:05:50,840 --> 00:05:53,408
I've never been too crazy
about yellow food.

152
00:05:53,409 --> 00:05:56,378
They're good for you. Just try one bite.

153
00:05:56,379 --> 00:06:00,282

 


154
00:06:00,283 --> 00:06:01,818
One bite.

155
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:09,074
-= www.OpenSubtitles.org =-

156
00:06:10,326 --> 00:06:13,028
That's not bad...

157
00:06:13,029 --> 00:06:15,764
For a food that's yellow.

158
00:06:15,765 --> 00:06:18,066
If you eat it all, you'll get dessert.

159
00:06:18,067 --> 00:06:20,702
I've never been crazy about plain water.

160
00:06:20,703 --> 00:06:22,167
You got any juice?

161
00:06:26,242 --> 00:06:28,744
Smile Superstars is a
different kind of company.

162
00:06:28,745 --> 00:06:31,380
We turn reality into dreams

163
00:06:31,381 --> 00:06:35,381
with our proven tools for
creating unlimited wealth.

164
00:06:37,987 --> 00:06:39,788
Debbie Grimes? Where's Debbie Grimes?

165
00:06:39,789 --> 00:06:40,956
There she is.

166
00:06:40,957 --> 00:06:43,926
Debbie won a trip to Hawaii for recruiting

167
00:06:43,927 --> 00:06:46,962
over 50 new clients for our joplin branch!

168
00:06:46,963 --> 00:06:49,131
Thank you, Debbie. How was Maui?

169
00:06:49,132 --> 00:06:52,234
Oh, you don't need to tell me.
I've got a house there.

170
00:06:53,269 --> 00:06:55,003
Now, let me ask you.

171
00:06:55,004 --> 00:06:57,773
Are you tired of working yourself to death

172
00:06:57,774 --> 00:06:59,908
and still not reaching your goals?

173
00:06:59,909 --> 00:07:02,344
Are you tired of looking around and seeing

174
00:07:02,345 --> 00:07:05,147
everyone else get theirs
and you not get yours?

175
00:07:05,148 --> 00:07:06,882
I'd like to get mine.

176
00:07:06,883 --> 00:07:10,719
Do you see those people on
those fancy boats and planes

177
00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:12,888
and think, "that should be me"?

178
00:07:12,889 --> 00:07:14,122
Well, that can be you.

179
00:07:14,123 --> 00:07:14,957
It can?

180
00:07:14,958 --> 00:07:16,258
You bet it can.

181
00:07:16,259 --> 00:07:19,661
You can earn your way into
our platinum elite club

182
00:07:19,662 --> 00:07:21,730
and be on a private jet

183
00:07:21,731 --> 00:07:25,667
as part of our winner's
circle retreat to Costa Rica!

184
00:07:25,668 --> 00:07:27,803
Who's with me?

185
00:07:27,804 --> 00:07:29,271
Who's with me on a private jet to success?

186
00:07:29,272 --> 00:07:30,339
I am!

187
00:07:33,309 --> 00:07:37,346
We can change the world
one smile at a time!

188
00:07:38,348 --> 00:07:41,149

 Tonight is tonight 


189
00:07:41,150 --> 00:07:44,720

 tomorrow's tomorrow 


190
00:07:44,721 --> 00:07:47,756

 believe in believin' 


191
00:07:47,757 --> 00:07:49,359

 go! Go! Go! Go! Go! 


192
00:07:51,621 --> 00:07:55,034
Well, Axl and Sue might've
shared a house for 18 years,

193
00:07:55,035 --> 00:07:56,647
but for the first time in their lives,

194
00:07:56,648 --> 00:07:58,149
they were sharing a room.

195
00:07:58,150 --> 00:08:00,242
You know, I've been watching you.

196
00:08:00,243 --> 00:08:01,619
You brush your hair a lot.

197
00:08:01,620 --> 00:08:03,209
Shut your mouth!

198
00:08:03,210 --> 00:08:05,366
Shut your stupid mouth!

199
00:08:05,367 --> 00:08:06,734
I did not want you here.

200
00:08:06,735 --> 00:08:08,401
I did not ask for you to be here.

201
00:08:08,402 --> 00:08:11,039
You are here because I
am nice and I am weak

202
00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:13,017
and I am still a little scared of dad!

203
00:08:13,018 --> 00:08:15,385
And just so you know, there is
fudge somewhere in this room

204
00:08:15,386 --> 00:08:17,411
that grandma sent to me with love,

205
00:08:17,412 --> 00:08:19,280
and don't even bother trying to find it

206
00:08:19,281 --> 00:08:20,815
because it is hidden and it is mine!

207
00:08:20,816 --> 00:08:23,451
Correction... was fudge.

208
00:08:23,452 --> 00:08:25,719
That's it! You took something I love.

209
00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:28,222
Now I am going to take something you love.

210
00:08:28,223 --> 00:08:30,091
I do not like this palm tree.

211
00:08:30,092 --> 00:08:31,692
It does not go with my room.

212
00:08:32,519 --> 00:08:34,419
I am not doing a beach theme.

213
00:08:34,420 --> 00:08:36,789
I am doing classic rustic cottage,

214
00:08:36,790 --> 00:08:39,091
which anyone with half a brain could see!

215
00:08:39,092 --> 00:08:40,526
Die!

216
00:08:40,527 --> 00:08:42,194
Die!

217
00:08:42,195 --> 00:08:44,763
Oh, my god, Mike.

218
00:08:44,764 --> 00:08:47,399
I can't believe how inspiring that was.

219
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:50,269
I mean, okay, at first I thought
it was a bunch of crap,

220
00:08:50,270 --> 00:08:51,370
but it's not.

221
00:08:51,371 --> 00:08:54,473
Seriously, this could be
a game changer for us.

222
00:08:54,474 --> 00:08:57,033
Every single person is an
independent business owner

223
00:08:57,034 --> 00:09:00,098
with the unlimited potential as we
redefine the future of dental care

224
00:09:00,099 --> 00:09:01,814
with Smile Superstars' line
of proprietary products

225
00:09:01,815 --> 00:09:03,248
and transformational business model.

226
00:09:03,249 --> 00:09:05,384
And get this... if I bring in a client,

227
00:09:05,385 --> 00:09:08,253
even if they go to the Texas
branch, I get a commission.

228
00:09:08,254 --> 00:09:10,222
- Who do you know in Texas?
- I talk to people, Mike.

229
00:09:10,223 --> 00:09:11,924
Remember yesterday at that rest stop,

230
00:09:11,925 --> 00:09:13,425
I handed that woman toilet
paper under the stall?

231
00:09:13,426 --> 00:09:14,459
She's from Texas.

232
00:09:14,460 --> 00:09:15,961
Hmm.

233
00:09:15,962 --> 00:09:18,263
No, no, it's... it's just that I'm feeling

234
00:09:18,264 --> 00:09:20,232
like I'm... I'm tingling right now.

235
00:09:20,233 --> 00:09:23,937
I'm just so excited, I'm pumped, I'm... oh!

236
00:09:26,005 --> 00:09:28,440
Oh!

237
00:09:30,443 --> 00:09:32,878
I am trying to study, Axl.

238
00:09:32,879 --> 00:09:34,880
I'm studying, too.

239
00:09:34,881 --> 00:09:37,015
You couldn't possibly be studying

240
00:09:37,016 --> 00:09:39,051
because you are playing guitar.

241
00:09:39,052 --> 00:09:41,253
Look, Sue, everybody likes the guitar.

242
00:09:41,254 --> 00:09:42,754
Nobody likes you.

243
00:09:42,755 --> 00:09:44,756
Therefore, everybody likes
me playing the guitar.

244
00:09:44,757 --> 00:09:46,258
It's the pythagorean theorem.

245
00:09:46,259 --> 00:09:48,427
I learned that studying
while playing guitar.

246
00:09:48,428 --> 00:09:50,429
Your witness. I'll see you in law school.

247
00:09:50,430 --> 00:09:51,496
I mean it, Axl.

248
00:09:51,497 --> 00:09:52,931
Finals are coming up.

249
00:09:52,932 --> 00:09:54,933
Nobody wants to hear your dumb guitar.

250
00:09:54,934 --> 00:09:56,201
Cool guitar.

251
00:09:56,202 --> 00:09:58,837
Yeah, we were wondering where
the music was coming from.

252
00:09:58,838 --> 00:10:01,106
Ah, come on in.

253
00:10:01,107 --> 00:10:03,275
I take requests. What do you like?

254
00:10:03,276 --> 00:10:05,010
Do you know anything by The Lumineers?

255
00:10:05,011 --> 00:10:07,279
Ha! Practically a professional.

256
00:10:08,414 --> 00:10:09,815
Yeah, I got nothing.

257
00:10:11,050 --> 00:10:12,418
So, do you live here, too?

258
00:10:13,853 --> 00:10:15,954
Yeah. Been here all semester.

259
00:10:15,955 --> 00:10:18,156
Really? I haven't seen you around.

260
00:10:18,157 --> 00:10:19,992
Oh, well, I've seen you.

261
00:10:19,993 --> 00:10:23,028
Well, not like in a weird way or anything.

262
00:10:23,029 --> 00:10:24,796
Just, like, in the bathroom and stuff.

263
00:10:24,797 --> 00:10:26,498
Lemonhead?

264
00:10:26,499 --> 00:10:29,401
See, there's one thing Sue
forgot about her brother...

265
00:10:29,402 --> 00:10:31,270
Everybody liked him.

266
00:10:31,271 --> 00:10:35,440
And by the pythagorean theorem,
everybody liked her, too.

267
00:10:35,441 --> 00:10:38,977
Yep, she was on a real high,
and she wasn't the only one.

268
00:10:38,978 --> 00:10:42,014

 Tonight is tonight 


269
00:10:42,015 --> 00:10:43,048
Take it uptown!

270
00:10:43,049 --> 00:10:44,283

 Tomorrow's tomorrow 


271
00:10:44,284 --> 00:10:45,784
Take it downtown.

272
00:10:45,785 --> 00:10:47,386

 Believe in believin' 


273
00:10:47,387 --> 00:10:48,253
Whoo!

274
00:10:48,254 --> 00:10:49,454
Hey.

275
00:10:49,455 --> 00:10:51,089

 Go! Go! Go! Go! 


276
00:10:51,090 --> 00:10:53,358
And through the tears, I said to myself,

277
00:10:53,359 --> 00:10:55,827
"they can take away everything,

278
00:10:55,828 --> 00:10:58,096
but they can't take away your smile."

279
00:10:58,097 --> 00:11:01,934

 Tonight is tonight

280
00:11:01,935 --> 00:11:03,969
tomorrow's tomorrow 


281
00:11:03,970 --> 00:11:06,838
You take the m-I-l-e out of "smile,"

282
00:11:06,839 --> 00:11:10,309
add a u-c-c-e-s-s to that
"s" that was left over,

283
00:11:10,310 --> 00:11:12,010
and you've got "success."

284
00:11:12,011 --> 00:11:14,379
And you can't spell "success" without "u."

285
00:11:14,380 --> 00:11:18,050

 Tonight is tonight 


286
00:11:18,051 --> 00:11:21,987

 tomorrow's tomorrow 


287
00:11:21,988 --> 00:11:25,290

 believe in believin' 


288
00:11:26,326 --> 00:11:27,860
Man: Room service.

289
00:11:32,799 --> 00:11:35,133
Ah, shoot, you beat me again.

290
00:11:35,134 --> 00:11:36,301
You're so good at this.

291
00:11:36,302 --> 00:11:37,436
I give up.

292
00:11:37,437 --> 00:11:39,237
No, no. Just one more game.

293
00:11:39,238 --> 00:11:42,240
You can be red this time.
It might change your luck.

294
00:11:42,241 --> 00:11:45,444
I'd love to, but unfortunately,
I've got a ton of work to do.

295
00:11:45,445 --> 00:11:48,280
I'm gonna put a video on for you.

296
00:11:48,281 --> 00:11:50,515
Oh, how about "Kelly's Heroes"?

297
00:11:50,516 --> 00:11:52,117
You like war, don't you?

298
00:11:54,988 --> 00:11:57,456

 


299
00:11:57,457 --> 00:11:59,958
In just a matter of days,
Sue's room had become

300
00:11:59,959 --> 00:12:02,327
a place she would never
have gotten invited to.

301
00:12:02,328 --> 00:12:04,062
Hey, Jordan.

302
00:12:04,063 --> 00:12:05,831
Come on in, girl! Yeah!

303
00:12:05,832 --> 00:12:06,999
Whoo!

304
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,234
Axl, it is after midnight.

305
00:12:09,235 --> 00:12:11,903
This is the latest I've
ever stayed up at college.

306
00:12:11,904 --> 00:12:13,405
I feel like I could go all night.

307
00:12:20,079 --> 00:12:22,315
Oh, my god! I slept through my test!

308
00:12:26,953 --> 00:12:28,020
Oh, my god.

309
00:12:28,021 --> 00:12:30,055
I can't believe I'm missing a test.

310
00:12:30,056 --> 00:12:31,289
This is a disaster.

311
00:12:31,290 --> 00:12:32,925
Me, a test misser?

312
00:12:35,028 --> 00:12:37,229
Axl, you're not listening to me!

313
00:12:37,230 --> 00:12:39,464
I am missing a test, and
it is all your fault!

314
00:12:39,465 --> 00:12:42,467
My fault? What are you talking about?

315
00:12:42,468 --> 00:12:44,536
I threw a party in your
room, and you loved it.

316
00:12:44,537 --> 00:12:45,437
I did.

317
00:12:45,438 --> 00:12:47,005
I did love it.

318
00:12:47,006 --> 00:12:48,440
I was partying like John Mayer last night!

319
00:12:48,441 --> 00:12:50,042
I don't know what I was thinking.

320
00:12:50,043 --> 00:12:52,010
Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

321
00:12:52,011 --> 00:12:53,445
There's 20 minutes left of class.

322
00:12:53,446 --> 00:12:56,048
If I Wade through the fountain,
I can shave off 30 seconds.

323
00:12:56,049 --> 00:12:57,439
Sue, you are not thinking clearly.

324
00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:59,773
You cannot take a two-hour
test in 20 minutes.

325
00:12:59,774 --> 00:13:02,020
Right. Maybe I can ask
for some extra credit,

326
00:13:02,021 --> 00:13:03,522
or mom can e-mail the professor

327
00:13:03,523 --> 00:13:05,390
and explain to him that I made a mistake.

328
00:13:05,391 --> 00:13:07,426
Sue! This is not high school.
They don't care.

329
00:13:07,427 --> 00:13:09,061
Look, just give me 10 minutes

330
00:13:09,062 --> 00:13:10,862
and I can teach you how to get out of this.

331
00:13:10,863 --> 00:13:12,264
Congratulations.

332
00:13:12,265 --> 00:13:14,499
You've just been accepted
to the University of Axl.

333
00:13:14,500 --> 00:13:17,903

 


334
00:13:17,904 --> 00:13:19,838
Hey, now, watch that stuff.

335
00:13:19,839 --> 00:13:21,239
Checkout's at noon.

336
00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:22,874
We got to focus on cleaning this place out.

337
00:13:22,875 --> 00:13:24,276
Everything that isn't nailed down.

338
00:13:24,277 --> 00:13:26,178
Hey, I was thinking, on the way home

339
00:13:26,179 --> 00:13:27,779
maybe we can stop at the candle museum.

340
00:13:27,780 --> 00:13:29,147
Whatever, babe.

341
00:13:29,148 --> 00:13:31,250
Ooh, we got mail.

342
00:13:36,322 --> 00:13:37,989
It's a bill, Frankie.

343
00:13:37,990 --> 00:13:39,491
Why would we be getting a bill?

344
00:13:39,492 --> 00:13:41,159
You said the trip was all expenses paid.

345
00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:42,327
It is.

346
00:13:42,328 --> 00:13:43,395
Then why are they charging us

347
00:13:43,396 --> 00:13:45,363
for minibar, room service, and movies?

348
00:13:45,364 --> 00:13:46,998
Hold on. Is the room charge on there?

349
00:13:46,999 --> 00:13:49,434
No. Just all the extra stuff.

350
00:13:49,435 --> 00:13:52,003
It adds up to $674!

351
00:13:52,004 --> 00:13:53,138
Wait, wait, wait. This is weird.

352
00:13:53,139 --> 00:13:54,006
There's got to be some kind of mistake.

353
00:13:59,145 --> 00:14:01,313
Hey, Dr. Goodwin.

354
00:14:01,314 --> 00:14:03,949
Um, you said all expenses were
being taken care of, right?

355
00:14:03,950 --> 00:14:05,183
Yepperoonie.

356
00:14:05,184 --> 00:14:06,918
Oh, thank god.

357
00:14:06,919 --> 00:14:09,454
'Cause we just got a bill by
mistake for our room service

358
00:14:09,455 --> 00:14:10,755
and minibar charges.

359
00:14:10,756 --> 00:14:13,024
Oh, no, now, they never pay for that.

360
00:14:13,025 --> 00:14:14,826
That's why I always bring my snack sack

361
00:14:14,827 --> 00:14:16,294
with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

362
00:14:16,295 --> 00:14:19,264
But you said all expenses paid.
That's what you said.

363
00:14:19,265 --> 00:14:23,034
No, I distinctly remember saying
y'all's expenses are paid.

364
00:14:23,035 --> 00:14:24,202
Not all y'all's.

365
00:14:24,203 --> 00:14:25,770
No, no, no, no, that can't be.

366
00:14:25,771 --> 00:14:27,239
I mean, how is anybody supposed to know

367
00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:29,241
that "all y'all's" is plural for "y'all's"?

368
00:14:29,242 --> 00:14:31,943
Well, all y'all's would
obviously be more than y'all's.

369
00:14:31,944 --> 00:14:34,246
I mean... what is he saying?
Do you speak hillbilly?

370
00:14:34,247 --> 00:14:35,847
Not well, but I think this hillbilly

371
00:14:35,848 --> 00:14:37,215
is telling us that we owe $674.

372
00:14:37,216 --> 00:14:39,284
Ooh, y'all ordered a lot.

373
00:14:39,285 --> 00:14:40,819
Oh, man.

374
00:14:40,820 --> 00:14:42,387
I ordered ribs, and I didn't like them,

375
00:14:42,388 --> 00:14:43,822
so I ordered a steak.

376
00:14:43,823 --> 00:14:45,357
I was living like Caesar up here.

377
00:14:45,358 --> 00:14:47,225
And, Frankie, seriously? Dry cleaning?

378
00:14:47,226 --> 00:14:49,394
They folded my underwear.
It made me feel special.

379
00:14:49,395 --> 00:14:51,029
But what about you? Shoeshine?

380
00:14:51,030 --> 00:14:52,430
What are you, running for congress?

381
00:14:52,431 --> 00:14:54,232
I thought all expenses were paid.

382
00:14:54,233 --> 00:14:56,268
It seemed nuts not to do it.
Let's just run, Mike.

383
00:14:56,269 --> 00:14:58,436
Let's just grab the soap
and Kleenex and run.

384
00:14:58,437 --> 00:15:00,405
We can't. We gave them a credit card...
the good one.

385
00:15:00,406 --> 00:15:02,638
Ooh, boy, I got to say, y'all
are in quite a pickle.

386
00:15:02,639 --> 00:15:04,809
- Are we?
- Are we in a pickle?

387
00:15:04,810 --> 00:15:06,278
Have we done and done it?

388
00:15:06,279 --> 00:15:08,079
Are we long-tail cats in
a room full of rockers?

389
00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:10,015
Mike, calm down. That is
not helping anything.

390
00:15:10,016 --> 00:15:11,200
Now, look, I will think of something,

391
00:15:11,201 --> 00:15:12,933
but in the meantime,
take the robe off, hef.

392
00:15:12,934 --> 00:15:14,452
That costs 60 bucks.

393
00:15:14,453 --> 00:15:16,822
Take the other one out of my suitcase.

394
00:15:19,070 --> 00:15:21,661
Okay, we start with the
basic categories of lies.

395
00:15:21,662 --> 00:15:22,862
Number one... personal tragedy.

396
00:15:22,863 --> 00:15:24,898
You're dying, a friend's
dying, grandma's dying.

397
00:15:24,899 --> 00:15:25,932
You get the picture.

398
00:15:25,933 --> 00:15:27,634
It's old school, but it totally works.

399
00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:30,457
It does, however, require a
certain shady moral compass.

400
00:15:30,458 --> 00:15:31,844
I could never do that to grandma.

401
00:15:31,845 --> 00:15:33,026
She just sent fudge.

402
00:15:33,027 --> 00:15:34,607
Well, there's the "appeal
to their humanity" lie.

403
00:15:34,608 --> 00:15:35,627
You call up the professor and say,

404
00:15:35,628 --> 00:15:37,997
"I could tell you a lie, but
I respect you too much."

405
00:15:38,202 --> 00:15:39,936
Wait, so am I lying or not lying?

406
00:15:39,937 --> 00:15:41,470
That might be a little advanced for you.

407
00:15:41,471 --> 00:15:43,406
There is a new category
that's very promising.

408
00:15:43,407 --> 00:15:45,141
The "I identify with the opposite gender

409
00:15:45,142 --> 00:15:46,242
and have issues" lie.

410
00:15:46,243 --> 00:15:47,910
The only downside is you have to live

411
00:15:47,911 --> 00:15:49,045
the next four years as a man.

412
00:15:49,046 --> 00:15:50,012
It's a big commitment.

413
00:15:50,013 --> 00:15:51,280
I don't know! I don't know!

414
00:15:51,281 --> 00:15:52,848
Okay, Axl, just tell me what to do.

415
00:15:52,849 --> 00:15:53,816
Please! Please!

416
00:15:53,817 --> 00:15:55,184
I can't do that, Sue.

417
00:15:55,185 --> 00:15:57,353
You got to come up with
your own special lie

418
00:15:57,354 --> 00:15:58,454
so when you say it, you believe it.

419
00:15:58,455 --> 00:16:03,159
Okay. Okay. I'll say I-I
was outside sudfeld hall

420
00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:05,693
when I saw a man collapse.

421
00:16:05,694 --> 00:16:06,963
Good. Man collapse.

422
00:16:06,964 --> 00:16:08,364
I like it. Go on.

423
00:16:08,365 --> 00:16:10,032
And... and he was scared.

424
00:16:10,033 --> 00:16:12,101
A-and he wanted me to comfort him,

425
00:16:12,102 --> 00:16:13,769
and... and sing him a song.

426
00:16:13,770 --> 00:16:14,937
Eeh! Lose the song.

427
00:16:14,938 --> 00:16:16,305
You might be required to sing it.

428
00:16:16,306 --> 00:16:17,223
Right, right, right, right.

429
00:16:17,224 --> 00:16:20,810
Then he looked into my
eyes and he eked out,

430
00:16:20,811 --> 00:16:22,345
"don't leave me, please!"

431
00:16:22,346 --> 00:16:24,146
And I didn't 'cause I wouldn't.

432
00:16:24,147 --> 00:16:25,181
I really wouldn't.

433
00:16:25,182 --> 00:16:27,316
So, I waited until the paramedics came,

434
00:16:27,317 --> 00:16:29,218
a-and then I ran all the way here

435
00:16:29,219 --> 00:16:31,354
'cause I really want to take this test.

436
00:16:31,355 --> 00:16:35,339
Nicely done, Sue. I like this lie for you.

437
00:16:35,340 --> 00:16:36,794
It's fresh. It's original.

438
00:16:36,795 --> 00:16:38,795
It's very you. You got this.

439
00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:44,935
Thank you.

440
00:16:47,104 --> 00:16:48,938
Sue, where were you?

441
00:16:54,211 --> 00:16:57,480
Hi, Dr. Samuelson?

442
00:16:57,481 --> 00:16:59,815
I'm Frankie Heck from the new Orson clinic.

443
00:16:59,816 --> 00:17:00,983
Of course you are.

444
00:17:02,185 --> 00:17:04,086
Anyway, I think there's
been a misunderstanding.

445
00:17:04,087 --> 00:17:06,188
Not that I'm accusing anyone,

446
00:17:06,189 --> 00:17:08,758
but I'm not sure it was 100% clear

447
00:17:08,759 --> 00:17:10,393
that all expenses were paid.

448
00:17:10,394 --> 00:17:12,061
Oh, it's very clear.

449
00:17:12,062 --> 00:17:14,297
The convention and your room
is completely paid for.

450
00:17:14,298 --> 00:17:16,866
Okay, see, I think that's
the misunderstanding.

451
00:17:16,867 --> 00:17:19,235
Again, not accusing anyone...
it was Dr. Goodwin...

452
00:17:19,236 --> 00:17:21,270
But some people's expenses

453
00:17:21,271 --> 00:17:24,340
were not just the room and convention.

454
00:17:24,341 --> 00:17:26,842
Wow. You guys really had fun.

455
00:17:26,843 --> 00:17:29,278
Yeah, we did. We really did.

456
00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:32,481
But since this is my
husband's and my first time

457
00:17:32,482 --> 00:17:33,883
with all expenses paid,

458
00:17:33,884 --> 00:17:37,086
we were hoping that you
could, just this once,

459
00:17:37,087 --> 00:17:40,189
fold the bill into all your other expenses.

460
00:17:40,190 --> 00:17:43,159
Just fold it in.

461
00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:46,086
You've been with this
company for all of 48 hours

462
00:17:46,087 --> 00:17:51,233
and you're asking me to pay your $674 bill?

463
00:17:51,234 --> 00:17:52,501
Maybe.

464
00:17:52,502 --> 00:17:54,804
Wow.

465
00:17:54,805 --> 00:17:57,440
That's the exact kind of
moxie we're looking for.

466
00:17:57,441 --> 00:17:59,075
Picturing the impossible

467
00:17:59,076 --> 00:18:01,444
and thinking you can make it happen.

468
00:18:01,445 --> 00:18:03,479
In this case, you can't.

469
00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:05,848
But don't lose that fire.

470
00:18:05,849 --> 00:18:07,850
So, you're not going to pay for it?

471
00:18:07,851 --> 00:18:09,752
No way.

472
00:18:09,753 --> 00:18:10,920
Selfie?

473
00:18:10,921 --> 00:18:12,488
Sure.

474
00:18:14,257 --> 00:18:18,194

 


475
00:18:22,733 --> 00:18:23,999
Hello?

476
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:27,370
Cindy, I told you not to call at this hour.

477
00:18:27,371 --> 00:18:30,172
I just put him down for his nap.

478
00:18:30,173 --> 00:18:32,475
No, you know I can't go out for ice cream.

479
00:18:32,476 --> 00:18:34,744
Who would watch grandpa big Mike?

480
00:18:34,745 --> 00:18:36,445
Even if I wanted to, I couldn't.

481
00:18:36,446 --> 00:18:38,381
I've got a million things to do.

482
00:18:38,382 --> 00:18:40,983
He left all his stuff on
the living room floor.

483
00:18:40,984 --> 00:18:43,185
All I want to do is finish picking up,

484
00:18:43,186 --> 00:18:45,888
pour myself a glass of
juice, and decompress.

485
00:18:45,889 --> 00:18:47,923
Boy, they're a lot of work at this age.

486
00:18:47,924 --> 00:18:50,025
It's a good thing grandpas are cute.

487
00:18:50,026 --> 00:18:52,194
Oh, I'm telling you, Sue, that was great.

488
00:18:52,195 --> 00:18:54,263
You took the lie, you internalized it,

489
00:18:54,264 --> 00:18:56,399
then you externalized it
all over your professor.

490
00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:57,466
Impressive.

491
00:18:57,467 --> 00:18:59,468
Oh, thank you. It felt good.

492
00:18:59,469 --> 00:19:02,805
Well, not the throwing-up part,
but the make-up test is awesome.

493
00:19:02,806 --> 00:19:04,507
Damn, Sue, you crushed it.

494
00:19:04,508 --> 00:19:07,209
You have just graduated
summa cum blabbity-blah

495
00:19:07,210 --> 00:19:08,978
from the University of Axl.

496
00:19:08,979 --> 00:19:10,079
Aww.

497
00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:13,949
Listen, I know I was a little hostile

498
00:19:13,950 --> 00:19:15,451
about having you here at first,

499
00:19:15,452 --> 00:19:17,920
but now I'm kind of glad
you're my roommate.

500
00:19:17,921 --> 00:19:21,457
Actually, was your roommate.

501
00:19:21,458 --> 00:19:23,492
What? Where are you going?

502
00:19:23,493 --> 00:19:25,895
I'm like Mary Poppins.

503
00:19:25,896 --> 00:19:27,096
I've helped you.

504
00:19:27,097 --> 00:19:29,165
Now it's time for me to
move on and help others.

505
00:19:29,166 --> 00:19:30,166
And in this case,

506
00:19:30,167 --> 00:19:31,901
"others" are two super-hot chicks

507
00:19:31,902 --> 00:19:33,836
that live above Donovan's market

508
00:19:33,837 --> 00:19:36,105
that'll let me sleep on
their beanbag for a week.

509
00:19:36,106 --> 00:19:38,207
But it won't be the same here without you.

510
00:19:38,208 --> 00:19:39,275
Of course it won't,

511
00:19:39,276 --> 00:19:42,512
but when the fudge returns, so shall I.

512
00:19:44,214 --> 00:19:45,314
Wait!

513
00:19:45,315 --> 00:19:48,885

 


514
00:19:58,094 --> 00:19:59,930
Bye.

515
00:20:05,936 --> 00:20:08,337
Hey, Sue.

516
00:20:08,338 --> 00:20:11,407
Oh, Axl's not here. He moved out.

517
00:20:11,408 --> 00:20:13,476
Oh, well, actually, we were
gonna go get some lunch

518
00:20:13,477 --> 00:20:15,344
and wanted to know if you
wanted to come with.

519
00:20:15,345 --> 00:20:16,378
Yeah! Yeah!

520
00:20:16,379 --> 00:20:19,281
Oh, oh, lunch is one of my favorite meals.

521
00:20:22,919 --> 00:20:24,854
You know, Mike, I think it's really nice

522
00:20:24,855 --> 00:20:26,956
that Smile Superstars is
willing to pay the bill.

523
00:20:26,957 --> 00:20:28,757
They're not paying it, Frankie.

524
00:20:28,758 --> 00:20:31,060
They're taking it out of
your next six paychecks.

525
00:20:31,061 --> 00:20:33,095
Well, I don't care. We had a great time.

526
00:20:33,096 --> 00:20:35,431
You know, it's because of our own stupidity

527
00:20:35,432 --> 00:20:37,333
that this whole trip was possible.

528
00:20:37,334 --> 00:20:39,435
I mean, were we stupid not to find out

529
00:20:39,436 --> 00:20:42,004
everything wasn't paid
for beforehand? Sure.

530
00:20:42,005 --> 00:20:45,241
But if we had found out, would
we have had so much fun?

531
00:20:45,242 --> 00:20:46,408
I don't think so.

532
00:20:46,409 --> 00:20:48,410
And I had fun. Did you have fun?

533
00:20:48,411 --> 00:20:50,379
Yes, I had fun.

534
00:20:50,380 --> 00:20:52,781
Hm. You bet you did.

535
00:20:52,782 --> 00:20:55,050
Ha! Yeah, that's right.

536
00:20:55,051 --> 00:20:56,085
Not over yet.

537
00:20:56,086 --> 00:20:57,119
Oh.

538
00:20:57,120 --> 00:20:58,187
Hi.

539
00:20:58,188 --> 00:20:59,188
Hey.

540
00:20:59,189 --> 00:21:00,189
Shh.

541
00:21:00,190 --> 00:21:02,826
Oh.

542
00:21:05,362 --> 00:21:07,096
He's a good boy.

543
00:21:07,097 --> 00:21:09,398
Wasn't much trouble.

544
00:21:09,399 --> 00:21:13,735
Another year or two, you
won't even need me.

545
00:21:14,170 --> 00:21:17,007

 


546
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547
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548
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